Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Menieres Aware Solar Trike Trip

We did it!! We finally found an interesting way for you to help us raise awareness for Meniere's Disease.

https://www.gofundme.com/trike-with-menieres-disease

Have look, like and share of our campaign... meanwhile I will be drumming up ideas on how to get solar panels on out Trikes!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Staying as busy as possible.

Been traveling again. But now I'm back at home in an effort to take life by the reigns. Doing my best to stay busy... Not always easy. I developed some habits as a sick person at home and it's time to break some of them and get a hold of life. 
Will be building 7 top bar hives over the next week or two, in an effort to provide hives for friends. But also to see if I can get the price organized. Without knowing how long it will take its hard to put a price on a homemade product. 
4 of the hives are already ordered, one will stay here with me. 

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Living Again



Should I be apologizing for not having posted in a while...?
I hope not!!!
My life took a sharp turn for the better 5 months ago and I'm learning how to live again. Projects are coming together... Some have even come to completion. I recently built a table for a friend and than drove to Italy to instal a beehive I built for a friend. 
I'm no longer refusing invitations and fearing vertigo attacks. Life has improved and I'm looking forward to rebuilding a better life. 


Sunday, March 2, 2014

Rebuilding a Life

 Only just a few weeks ago I was still working towards rebuilding an entirely new life, a life with Menieres Disease. 
As you have maybe already seen on a previous blog post, I drove north to Germany this fall and found a Menieres Clinic and Dr. Golenhofen.
 
Things have changed a little, I'm still trying to rebuild a life, but now that the vestibular part if my condition, which apparently does not qualify as Ménière's disease has been helped. I have had zero vertigo attacks since my trip to Germany. 
I'm now looking at rebuilding the life I once had, guiding clients in the mountains!! This does not come without a certain amount of apprehension and fear. I'm weary of rebuilding my past only to lose it again.

I've recently have had some great days in the mountains skiing and ski touring, both with clients and with friends. It's been amazing and way more than I could have wished for just a few weeks ago. I now know that physically I would be able to start guiding more often. The difficulty I'm having is with the highs I'm getting from being in the mountains again, a lot higher and happier than I have been in a long time. Now I'm beginning to be terrified of losing it all over again. 

I should be satisfied with the improvements in lifestyle that I have attained already... I get this!! Think forward... I get this as well. 

It will take time to get this all together... Time will heal... 

I know that if and when the vertigo starts again. I will be able to get the treatment again. 

I would love to be able to charge forward and rebuild the old me. 

Family Love

I love family!
I love the way they are always there to hold your hand when times are tough. They always call to find out how you are doing and asking the right questions about whether life is getting easier or not. The words of encouragement mean so much to a person that has struggled with with an invisible and debilitating condition for X amount of years. It always helps to know that... no matter what... family will always be family.
 

Friday, January 17, 2014

Hand operation.

On my way to get a bone chip removed from my hand after a mountain bike fall on the second of November.  Only took 2.5 months to find a doctor willing to get in there and remove the chip before it's causes more damage. 


Friday, January 10, 2014

Road to recovery

The journey of getting sick, understanding that I am sick, being sick has been long and arduous. 
The journey of getting help, understanding that I need help, getting the wrong help and no help up until I finally got some help has also been a long and arduous experience. 
Recently I was given the opportunity to reverse this journey and turn things around. So I've begun the  return journey, and even though some days are easy and happen quickly, there is this immense sense of lost time, lost experiences, missed opportunities, that clouds my focus at times. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

700 km's to find a light!

700km's… thats the distance we recently drove in search of HELP!!!

Drastic situations call for drastic measures… After a summer of feel in reasonably healthy, all my symptoms started up again a few weeks back. I quickly fell to the end of my rope and was struggling to see the light.

After last years decision to put a stop to my career as a mountain guide until further notice… I spent all winter and summer looking for help here in Switzerland… to no avail!!!  After 54 appointments with Dr's, Therapists, Acupuncturists, Oncologists, Insurances, Disability Insurances, Allergists, Nutritionists… and I miss a few. The overall consensus was that I was having difficulty living my life, but I was going to have to hold it together and get used to it. Basically I was often being told to go home and 'learn to live with it'!

For twelve years I've lived with the symptoms of Menieres Disease, Vertigo, Tinnitus, Hearing loss. Diagnosed slowly over the first 4-5yrs by a process of elimination… MRI's, Brain scans, dental surgeries etc.

Remission, there is no word I love more than remission… the time I get between vertigo attacks. Early on my remissions were long and comfortable, life fell back into place and I was able to work. But these past few of years the remissions have been short and difficult to come to terms with, tinnitus has gotten worse, my left ear is almost deaf and the effects of a yoyo health and career have taken its toll on my psychy.

These are the feelings and events that brought on the idea of driving 700km to look for HELP!

The weekend before leaving I had had three vertigo attacks and on the morning we packed the car I was beginning to feel like hell and almost delayed the trip. I was not looking forward to watching the highway spin circles around me for 8hrs of drive time. Even the idea of engine noise for that amount of time was disturbing to say the least. Since my hearing has gotten worse I've developed hyperacusis in my left ear, Noise sensitivity is the best way to put it, the hum of the engine was going to hum again inside my head for 8hrs.

We made it and we were both exhausted.

Following morning we met Dr. Golenhofen : http://www.meniereclinic.com/information/location/  or http://www.tinnitusclinic.de

I was amazed at how quickly Dr. Golenhofen was focusing in on my situation and analyzing my symptoms. I was sent off to two different dentists to have X-rays taken of my teeth and jawbones. No sooner was I back, emailed X-ray travels faster than I do, I was diagnosed with a chronic dental inflammation in the central upper jaw. This was being caused by a dental cyst growing on a nerve that runs between the bones just above the two front teeth. I had known about this cyst and had seen a dentist about it in 2003 or 4. I had some dental work done in Majorca, and was told that all was good and that I would be fine.

I do not know for sure if this cyst has grown back since or if it was poorly removed in the first place. What I do know, is that I did have surgery while in germany and this this cyst is now out of my life for the second time and I am extra grateful to Dr. Golenhofen for having found it again. I had forgotten about it and the 54+ appointments I had this past year did not help to find it either. I do know now that this cyst was the cause of symptoms that were being mixed in with my menieres diagnosis, and therefore nothing was being done about them. It is very difficult to explain, but I feel a whole lot better already, a general feeling of uneasiness seems to have subsided.

I was also informed that although I have been diagnosed with Menieres Disease, my real problem was what they like to call Menieres Syndrome, I suffer all the same symptoms of Menieres Disease, but not for the same reasons as Menieres disease. My problem was from Functional Spine and Masticator Syndrome and TMJ Temporal Mandibular Joint Dysfunction. Basically all the muscles in my upper back, neck, and jaw are a mess. Although I have always blamed these aches and pains on my back pack and years of perpetual adventure, I was wrong. According to Dr. Golenhofen my aches and pains and troubles with my masticators could have all started when I was having my teeth straightened as a child. Thats right you read it!!! The braces that straightened my teeth may be the underlying cause of my Menieres Syndrome, not to mention my broken neck when I was 13 and the years of carrying backpacks full of adventure equipment, or flying off my mountain bike.

To keep this post short I will not go into the number of times I tried to eliminate these conditions from the causes for my Menieres disease. ALL my previous doctors including the dentist I visited just for this reason this past summer, ALL told me that my jaw and teeth were fine and that my neck pains were due to my backpack.

To keep this freaking long story short, I was now diagnosed with THREE new conditions within moments of meeting Dr. Golenhofen for the first time. The cyst, which was operated the following morning, Functional Spine and Masticator Syndrome along with Temporal Mandibular Joint Dysfunction.

After all these years of looking for answers and coming across Dr's that were not interested in my situation because their medical library could not provide the perfect pill to help me, here I was with THREE new diagnosis in less than one morning. One that I had known about and was meant to have been sorted already by a dentist in Majorca, and two new ones that I knew about as potential reasons for Menieres symptoms.

Over the next few days I met with Somatics Movement instructors and learned all the movements that were going to help me re-balance all the muscles of my upper body, neck, and head. Over the next few months I will be doing my daily program in the hopes of getting everything back in line. 45min. - 1 hr. of easy movement exercises to help the muscles re-learn their original purpose.

I also started wearing a dental splint that is going to help me regain control of my masticator muscles. Masticators are the muscles used for chewing food and are probably the first ones to have been affected by all the dental work that was done to me when I was young. I do at times grind my teeth, something I've always thought was due to the stress of being sick… turns out those muscles that do the grinding are the ones responsible for me being sick in the first place.

I'd like to wrap this up: For the first time since I started having symptoms I have been given a green light. So many times I've left the Dr's office with feelings of helplessness. Having been to the specialists and walking out thinking… this is just going to get more difficult!!! NOT SO… and I've known it all along!!! There is the possibility that Christmas 2013 becomes the most memorable Christmas ever… at least for me.

I've now been vertigo free for 3 weeks and counting, my energy levels are higher and more positive than they have been for a Loooooooong time, and I'm starting to believe that there might be some dreams coming true soon.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ALL OF YOU OUT ON ADVENTURES!









Monday, November 11, 2013

Chronic Illness...

"You are not obligated to do everything a healthy person does. You are not obligated to be an inspiration. You are not obligated to hide your illness in order to make other people comfortable. You are allowed to know your limits. You are allowed to have bad days. You are allowed to stay in bed if you can’t get up to do anything but go to the bathroom. It is not your fault if other people leave you because of your illness. It is not your fault that you are sick. You don’t have to apologize for something that is out of your control." - Unknown 

The TEXT that changed my life: And turned my mountains upside down.




Thursday, October 17, 2013

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

30 Things About My Chronic Illness


30 things about Menieres Disease and Me

The illness I live with is:
Menieres Disease

I was diagnosed with it in the year:
2005/2006 It took the Dr's 4-5 years to diagnose me officially. I was often in remission during the early years.

But I had symptoms since:
'96 is when I first noticed hearing loss. 2001 was when I had my first vertigo attack and the tinnitus started and has only fluctuated since.

The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: I'm still not adjusted to any of it, and i'm not sure that I ever will be seeing as the illness is constantly making its own adjustments and it is completely impossible to know for sure how good or how bad one is going to feel throughout the day. Somedays I wake up from no sleep and feel awesome and have a great day and other times I wake up from lots of good sleep and feel like hell all day.

Most people assume:
That the illness should be tolerable as long as the vertigo is kept at bay... you try TINNITUS, deafness and noise sensitivity. Not to mention the emotional setbacks of insecurity, loss of identity, isolation, depression, anger, frustration... and the feeling that no one will ever understand.

The hardest part about mornings are: Tinnitus is double as loud, and having to figure out how I feel.

My favorite medical TV show is: Grey's Anatomy – to bad they have not done a show on Menieres Disease.

A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My Iphone. Gets me out of my ear and out of my head. Along with my bikes when I feel well enough to ride, or my climbing gear when the days are good.

The hardest part about nights are: Getting sleep!!! Falling asleep when you feel good is easy, but I fear waking up feeling like hell and falling asleep when you feel like hell does not give you the rest you need.

Each day I take 20-25pills & vitamins & homeopathic meds.

Regarding alternative treatments I: could not go without my acupuncture/massage and homeopathic meds. I've also tried aromatherapy, meditation, osteopath, Tomatis treatments, coaching in 2-3 different formats, I've spent all my revenue on trying to get well.

If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: A visible handicap. I would also choose an accident over an illness that creeps up on you and whittles away at your existence.

Regarding working and career: My career as a full fledged International Mountain Guide is over, until I find a new one, that is looking difficult due to the unstable behavior of my illness and my emotions towards my situation. But I am still hoping to find a way. I'm also still hoping to someday get back to ski guiding where I do not have to be tied in and there is no risk of pulling a client off the mountain if I slip.

People would be surprised to know: That regardless of remission or not remission, every second of my life is dictated by Menieres Disease.

The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: I'm still trying to accept the fact that I have to accept. Lately I have been struggling enormously with the impact that my illness is having on the relationships I have with the people that are closest to me. My partner and my family are showing signs of frustration and anxiety due to my situation. I feel guilty for being sick, I'm not used to being the dead weight. I'm no longer going forward, I'm minimizing my existence in order to suffer less.

Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: I can still do most of everything that I used to do... it just takes 3 times the motivation and causes 3 times the fatigue.

The commercials about my illness: Never seen one! There is no cure so there is nothing to sell.

Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Tying into a rope and leading a client up a mountain. I have not tied in with a client in at least 7 years. It's a risk I can not allow myself to take. I also miss not having to worry about how I am feeling physically or emotionally.

It was really hard to have to give up: I have not given up!!! Paragliding, climbing 3-4 days a week, biking whenever I want, long road trips,

A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Beekeeping, fly fishing, and sitting on the couch feeling ill.

If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Sit in my garden and enjoy the view.

My illness has taught me: Never give up!!!

Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: 'Be positive...' I would not be here if I had not been positive thus far.

But I love it when people: Take the time to ask.

My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I love myself!!

When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Hang on tight... If you need a hug, call me!

Something that has surprised me about living with a chronic illness is: The psychological impacts due to all the losses and relationship changes.

The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Hold me!

I’m involved with Menieres Disease Awareness because: I have no choice in the matter and I'm naively hoping it will help me feel better about being ill for life.

The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Slightly less isolated...

Friday, September 27, 2013

Blogging about Meniere's Disease...

I've always loved the road less traveled and the path less followed, but here I am in a situation I never believed I would find myself in.

My life is suffering terribly from a rare disease that is incurable...

After 10+ years of slow diagnosis and attempts to control and learn to live with Meniere's Disease, I find myself in a position where I feel I need to talk, tell, raise awareness and money for research... etc.

Not an easy task when the illness is there controlling my every move. The slightest moment of discomfort, change in tinnitus, change in hearing, feelings of wobbliness, grogginess or nausea can ruin an entire day or week by creating massive amounts of brain fog. The feeling of not knowing what is happening next or what is going to be possible or for how long either the discomfort or the remission will last is - to say the least - completely destabilizing.

I want to talk and tell, but I do not want to sound like I'm whining.

I'm in a situation that is virtually impossible for most people to understand. My disability is completely invisible from the outside, yet on the inside there are all sorts of conflicts happening. Loss of hearing, Tinnitus, and Vertigo are symptoms that lead to brain fog. In turn, the brain fog creates in all sorts of emotions that are equally, if not more difficult to deal with than the original symptoms themselves.

As a newbie blogger I'm finding it really hard to find ways to write about Menieres Disease and my experiences with Menieres Disease without feeling the discomforts of writers block.

I look and feel pretty normal a lot of the time.

Even in the winter!
But inside I have a monster controlling my every move and incapacitating my life.

I will do my best to blog sensibly about my situation with Menieres Disease, with the ultimate goal of someday raising a whole heap of money for research!! 

Anybody could get this disease

The symptoms are debilitating because they are severe and unpredictable.
“You don’t know when it’s going to come on,” Ishiyama said. “When you get this you really cannot work. It’s really a bad situation.” Most people who have Meniere’s don’t know what to do about it 

This is taken from the following article:

http://www.theacorn.com/news/2013-09-19/Health_%28and%29_Wellness/How_vertigo_was_treated_with_surgery.html

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Great weekend in Interlaken

Two days of riding, two more lakes crossed off the list. And a great new b&b restaurant discovery. We rode 75 km yesterday around Thunersee and 60km around Brienzersee today. Fantastic rides both of them are really worthwhile tours. The b&b is excellent will make a post about it from the computer when we get home. 


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Brain Fog

This is what brain fog basically is...
A beautiful day and a little cloud of brain fog appears. Then the cloud either lets the sun shine through or it grows bigger and bigger till you can no longer even imagine that there is a mountain there.
Unfortunately one cannot choose what the brain fog cloud does. It just acts on its own. It eventually becomes a debilitating condition that affects those sick with Ménière's so that life becomes difficult to deal with at every level, every day. It is very hard for others to understand and thus the sick person keeps to themselves. Unfortunately it is very often misunderstood by the people closest.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Tour du Lac de Neuchatel

We had a great ride on Saturday. The weather kept us worried about getting wet but by the end of the ride we had not been rained on at all. Unfortunately there has been so much repairs on the roads and bike track that a lot of it felt like cyclocross. We were happy to get to the end of the biggest swiss lake that is entirely on swiss soil. there are three lakes that will be longer rides, Maggiore goes into Italy, Constance touches both Austria and a lot of Germany and the Leman that has it's southern coastline in France.

The views of the Alps from Neuchatel are mindblowing... Eiger, Monch, Jungfrau all the way across to the Mont Blanc!!

Friday, September 13, 2013

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Learning to raise money!

No quite as simple as it sounds!

Trying to figure out all the different sites and possibilities for fundraising through the internet.

Crowdfunding, peerfunding, squeezing pocket change out of as many people as possible to come up with a large sum of money.

It'll happen, I think, its just a matter of when how and with who!

Plug in some tinnitus and some brain fog and we're off to a screeching start.

Looking forward to swamping your inboxes... but it might not happen so quick!


Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Pierre Avoi Video

Just made a video today up at the Pierre Avoi. Looking forward to you reactions!!

It will be up on you tube and here soon.

Don't forget... we launch the fundraiser with Start Some Good soon... next few days!!


Saturday, August 24, 2013

Money for Meniere's research

I have very little experience with personal fund raising and would love any input from those of you that do.

A mountain guide with Meniere's Disease

Meniere's disease has quashed all my dreams of ever being a full time Mountain Guide. After several years of remissions spotted with vertigo episodes I was finally officially diagnosed around about 2006. Dr's told me to go home and learn to live with it. Since then, I have not dared tie in with a client ever, I've concentrated on winter guiding on skis where I do not need to worry about getting dizzy and pulling a client off the side of the mountain.

Since the summer of 2012 I took the decision to contact disability insurance and not work for the following winter. This has been one of the hardest times in my life. First few months I felt liberated, knowing that the hardest decision had been made. I was looking into starting a Meniere's Association for Switzerland.

Then came Meniere's Disease in the spring of 2013. I suffered with 3-4 months of vertigo. back to back days of feeling dizzy, morning, noon, and night. My hopes of starting an association vanished, but not without leaving me with deep feelings of inability.

I now live from day to day, not knowing whether tomorrow will be a good day or a bad day with Meniere's Disease.

I would now like to raise money for research!!